Mixed And Confused??

morning people....im wide awake and sleepy at the same time....hehe....wide awake due to the cold cold air-conditioning and sleepy due to the lack of sleep i have been having for the past few days....have no idea what so ever on why am i not sleeping well....guess im just thinking too much bout life and stuff....how sad....hehe....im in my office right now looking at my pc....i took some pictures of my office to upload but sadly, i havent transfered them to my pc yet....no cable you see....mayb tomorrow or something okie.... *wink*

well....on my way to work today....i saw something that actually got me thinking about my life and the way it is going....not that its bad or anything....just that it got me wondering bout things and the future....hehe....actually what i saw was a very cute couple....they looked perfect for each other....the right heights, looks, kindness....and they had beautiful children....a son and a daughter....in my eyes they look just made for each other....the guy was indian and the girl was chinese....funny how mixed marriges can look so good together when we are always reminded by the older folks that we should stick to our very own race in terms of life partners....

that got me thinking bout my own life....i am a product from a mixed marrige....well, my mom is punjabi and my dad is tamil....which also results in a inter-religion marrige....my dad is a hindu where else my mom is a sikh....so many mixes and difference....hehe....but i turned out fine i would say....so i dont really see the problem in this issue that has been a problem for years....hehe....so many marriges of this kind have taken place over these years and i guess i would be continuing this tradition....just that mine would be an inter-religion marrige if things turn out well....hehe....

yeah....im currently going out with a guy that is from a totally different world compared to mine....i have been brought up as a partial hindu and partial sikh....hehe....then there is also the side dishes....hehe....abit of budhism and also christianity....but this guy im with has been a christian all along....not that there is any problem ther....but i was just thinking, how is the future going to be for us?? imagine if we get married....what a confusion that would be....i always dreamt of a beautiful indian wedding with the settings like a bollywood movie....hehe....but i guess if i do marry him, il have to compromise and have a typical church wedding....how sad....hehe....

but i guess that is just the minor factors in this matter....in my opinion, the major factor would be my identity after marrige....where would i stand?? and what about the kids?? what faith would they hold on to?? so many questions with answers that only time can answer....the picture above sums up what im going through....a bride dressed in a wedding gown looking in a mirror and seeing her indian side as a reflection....hehe....dont get me wrong here okie....i have no problems with the religion difference....i have actually already accepted the difference....i respect him and his faith but i would never let go of my own believes....i wouldnt be with him if i havent right?? hehe....

my only hope of the future is that the both of us will compromise and not make this difference such a big deal in our lives....a little mixing and matching is always welcomed right....and what law says you can only practise one religion at heart?? after all, religion is no big matter to me anyways....who cares what religion you are as long as you believe in god and dont cause harm to others....after all, as i have seen with my own eyes....its love and trust and understanding that will hold a marrige together....not the faiths you hold on to....be it of whatever mix of race, culture, or religion....as long as love and respect is present, things can go a long way....i think most of you will agree with that....

well....whatever the future brings, i hope it will be good for me....hehe....as for now....i am pretty happy with the way things are going....if things remain this way, i guess i wont have much of a problem in the future....but then again....we havent involved the parents yet....i guess the real drama would start then....hehe....no offence arr prince charming....its just some things that run around in my head....but you know your parents wont like the idea of an inter-religion marrige....you are really gonna have to fight to convince them.... *wink* i love you anyways okie....muaxXx

okies people....i have practically crapped too much today....and you all are gonna have to read bout my arguements against myself....hehe....i just love debating with my ownself....dont know where it leads me but it does help get me to see things a little clearer....hehe....sorry for making you all read bout it okie....so i think ill stop here....till the next time my fingers meet the keyboard....thanks again for reading my crap....ciaozZz